tired and angry

I am extremely tired and angry with myself right now. Until when am I gonna live like this? I’m no longer enjoying what I do now. I get frustrated all the time and my passion has died on me.

I’m not a quiter. I just… feel that I’ve had enough of all these. I wanna do something else, I wanna see the world, I wanna be able to come back home at 6pm, cook a meal for myself, enjoy my work-free weekend and start having real, meaningful relationship with people outside the office. Sigh…

Anyway, I did managed to go to Pangkor on Saturday. Arrived at 3pm and had my mind occupied with work work work. Jesus! Got to the bus station a wee bit late, couldn’t settle for the 5.30pm bus and hopped on a cab that cost me RM230 back to KL. THEN went back to office to make sure all the bugs has been fixed for today’s launch.
Omigod, I am so fucking pathetic AND I am so mad at myself now.

I can have a choice! What the heck am I hesitating now?!

kancil

It’s 2.21am and I just got home. Tired, sleepy, shoulder aching and extremely not in the mood to do anything but blog.

Nope, I still haven’t got the link. I am lost for words and I don’t want to talk about that now. Bleugh…

Anyways, I was ‘dragged’ to the kancil award. I was pretty sure that a part from the fact that the designer(who was supposed to go) can’t go, the invitation was extended in a form of apology…for the link that never came.

Kancil Award was quite an eye opener. So many cute guys!! Oh man, where were they all these while?! Slaving themselves in the office?!
I met some people from Shine training, met Janet Lee and a few friends as well. Was fun, though tired but fun.

*************
I think the worst thing that we can do to others is not being honest. Which led to the other person living in delusion.

I dated a guy once. Who told me that a lot of women finds him sexy. That he was the man of all men. I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. I wished I could tell him that I thought he was ugly…

OK so much for that emo trip. I am still rolling my eyes as I am typing this. My tooth is aching as hell, my left shoulder feels like it’s detaching from my body and I am having a bloody headache.

So much for that on a Friday. Fuck!

OK before I curse somemore, I just wanna say that this is a personal blog that keeps me sane. Which means, there will be lotsa cursing, lotsa bitching about people I know. If you are so unfortunate to come across this blog, don’t take it personal lah. It’s just a blog and I write with my heart, not my brain. If you want to take it personally then I can’t do anything about it right? Shrugs

8.01pm, I am still waiting for the link. Everyone’s ass is starting to burn now. Does anyone even bother that I am the one facing the client at the end of the day?

Ok chill gal chill…think about pangkor, think about lazing around at the beach tomorrow, think about the crazy french guy.

*Day dreaming mode*

Am I crazy? I met this guy on my trip to pangkor last week. It was a mutual attraction. We hit it off so well (perhaps too soon) we had so much fun together! It was a very wholesome experience, to be able to connect with someone without any fear nor judgement. That you give your heart so willingly to experience something so real that society term it as lust.

That’s how society are isn’t it? Being skeptical.

But it’s ok. It’s my journey I’m embarking. Not that I am giving my heart to this guy but well…just have some fun. We never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow right?

a shity start

I can’t believe this! It’s 7.40pm, I am supposed to be packing at home, getting ready to board the bus to Lumut and now I am stucked here in the office, waiting for a link that not only me but the ‘whole world’ promised to send to the client at freaking 5pm!

Sometimes I really can’t comprehend. If I am the one at the job I will make sure I deliver on time, and even if I can’t I will fucking give an alternative and MAKE sure I deliver!

It’s not about negotiating with the client if they want a 100% workable solution or a half bake job. Jesus man! That’s fucking lame. It’s about making a commitment and stick to that commitment.

Argh! I am bloody dissapointed! And I feel like shit now.