an encounter

Thursday is about to morph into Friday. It’s the weekend again – a long awaited one in fact. The plan to pangkor with celeste didn’t happen, which I sorta expected it. (not sounding crude) So, it wasn’t such a let down. After all, I still have my weekend to indulge to, alone, in my own pace where I rule. Awesome :)

Still haven’t figure out what to do over the weekend. But desperately want to explore unfamiliar path and in the mood to just strike up a conversation with strangers or do something different. How ‘adventurous”!

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I had a peculiar encounter with a cab driver on my way home from work today. He is a malay, divorcee, with 3 kids. He wanted my number and wanted to be ‘friends’. I told him I prefer to be alone and I am not the type to get married and have kids (ok i lied). So I got his number instead and told him I could introduce some gal friends if he is interested. (which is true).

To cut the story short, despite him being an annoying ‘buaya’, I find him very sad and lonely man. It’s sad (really sad) that people get married for the wrong reasons and ended up divorcing each other (worst when they have kids) at the end of the day. Marriage is supposed to be sacred (to me), it’s supposed to be life time. Not because of convenience or because it’s seems like ‘the right thing to do’.

Sigh…dunno lah. I hitting the sack.

luckie

Celeste and I got LUCKY yesterday! The initial plan to have drinks in chilis had us ended up catching the preview of Transformer! (Curtesy of our friends at Petrosains hehe)

I also managed to get my sleek ala victoria beckham haircut done in 30 mins! Gotta love the stylist (Yer) from Fusion KLCC. She da best! Bit pricey but still THE BEST!

Weekend is just around the corner, so looking forward to it! Gotta get my nails done, check out some books at Kinokuniya, buy a bottle of wine, and GET RID of some stuffs in the apartment!

mind games

It’s close to midnight and I am still wide awake. Truth is, there are so many things running through my mind now.

What happened to 8tv’s Quickie? I used to love that segment when Marion was around. Now it seems so bimbodic and brainless with the new hosts.

I want to stop having spiteful feelings towards certain bloggers. Esp the ones that poses in front of the camera with silly facial expression. Shameless self promotion, give it up already!

Why is it that people stay where they are and refuses to leave when it’s not working for them? Why don’t people take chances in life?

Should I change my phone to something more fancy?

Should I get my haircut tomorrow?

I haven’t been painting for a while…not since fab left. I should start painting again this weekend.

I dislike my apartment, I want to move to another block. But with the kinda of rent I am paying, I might as well get my own place. Make sense…but I still don’t want to commit financially for another 30 years.

I want to be able to live in a van too!

I miss fab sometimes. I know he doesn’t feel good too but he is just too darn stubborn to not listen to his ego for once.

I miss maga too sometimes. And often wonder if he is happy up there.

I don’t understand how someone can tell you that you mean the world to them and yet they never call.

I want to be sexy and sipping martinis at fancy clubs.

I want to get a digital slr, take lotsa photos and sell them for a living.

I love my job, my boss, my team. But sometimes, I missed advertising.

I need to start getting rid of the excess ‘baggage’ I have in the apartment. I know I am going to shift out soon for whatever reasons. I just feel it!

Sigh….I need to quiet my mind and go to bed now.

to see another day of wonder

It was a very sad morning to begin with... the suicidal news on my ex colleague’s brother gave me watery eyes when I hung up the phone. My heart just sank for the poor gal…the sadness was heart felt…we are all indeed connected…

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Today was as normal as how it was yesterday. Just couldn’t shake the uncertainty in me…

I finally sign the early confirmation form. Why is it that I am not ecstatic? Why is it that I keep having this nagging feeling that I am signing my life away (just a metaphor ok)? Sigh… if I had to live my 20s all over again, I wouldn’t waste so much time and money for that piece of Degree. I should have sign up for some volunteering job in the US after my diploma. Then apply for working visa and go travel around the world.

But, I did had my fair share of wicked fun during my 20s – which wasn’t so bad after all. I just wished that I get to see the world and experience different culture before I die.

Anyway I don’t wanna live through my 30s and regret not doing what I was supposed to do in my 30s.

Shed me some light oh mighty universe!

Music lover

Found a site with lotsa non-mainstream music. Totally rocks!
The Little Strawberry Planet

treat me ‘good’

I’ve always have a sensitive nose ever since I was a kid. I would sneeze at the smell of perfume, belacan and ciggie. But it was the unfortunate incident last year that turned my sensitive nose into a chronic sinus or sinusitis.

It all started with a very bad cough that lasted for months which then left a trail of a very bad sinus. So bad that I smell rotten fish everywhere I go – it was the sinus odor. Any sane person should have gone to see an ENT Specialist. But I choose to ignore and make do with the endless suffering. Why? Beats me…perhaps a part of me has been taken by fear. Perhaps it seemed convenient to temporary shut away the discomfort the body is having as long as I am not bed ridden. Sigh.

Then…like a miracle the ENT Specialist waltz it’s way to the health care campaign at the bank. It was like a sign! Do-it-or-you-are-dead-meat kinda sign. I know whatever happens at the end if I choose to ignore the sign would be my own wrong doing. And YET! I missed the consultation session. So for the next 2 weeks, I suffered like hell. The sinus had gotten serious. I couldn’t sleep at night coz I had to blow my nose all the time. And I could no longer breath from my nose!

THAT scared the shit outta me.

So last friday I dragged myself to the newly opened clinic at the bank and gotten alot of ‘good stuff’ from the clinic hehe…
Apart from the pills, the doctor gave me menthol crystal to inhale(totally rocks!), and Rhinocort nasal spray. I’ve started the medication and I haven’t blow my nose ever since!

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I know that our human experience has ‘taught’ us to take things for granted. Sometimes even our own health. Which is priceless beyond compare. I learned my lesson now. And I want to cure this sickness. I promised to me.

Links to some other unfortunate people
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/RespiratoryDisorders/messages/2390.html

bitten by the travel bug again

Aw man…I am really really dying for a holiday! I need to go to somewhere unfamiliar, meet new people, do some crazy stuffs, get ENERGIZED! But work is piling and it feels so irreponsible to take a day off :(

Anyways, got a call from a travel agent. Told me that thanks to my ’secret friend’ (secret because it’s prolly bogus) who signed up for a Maybank platinum card, I get to enjoy a free holiday package for 2 in either Langkawi, Cameron Highlands or Malacca! Whoa…ok ok…it’s probably some marketing tactics lar. So what’s the catch I asked. The travel agent said I can collect my gift anytime and they just need a little of my time to market their tour package to me.

Ok what…I’ve got nothing to lose!

Anyways, if you haven’t heard, MAS is having a mega promotion right now! Only last for 50 hours(9AM 20th June – 11am 22nd June)! Get air fare as low as RM1!
http://www.malaysiaairlines.com/main_MY.aspx

so many things yet so little time

I feel that I used to be able to do so much with the 24 hours that I had. Going to bed passed midnight and waking up at 4-5ish is never a problem. But now, everything just slows down three fold…By 10pm I would be dozing off in front of the telly, and waking up at 6am is oh soooo difficult! I really need to get my ‘act’ back together. I used to be able to get so many things done once upon a time!

When I was in my previous job. I wasn’t happy about alot of things. But the main source of unhappiness lies in the incompetency of the management. I just don’t understand why people would not get fired if they posses a ‘threat’ to the company or if they don’t perform. I used to tell myself IF I were the decision maker, firing people who doesn’t measure up will not be something that I will be afraid to do.

Side track abit…And who in the right mind would want to keep an award winning staff who drives half the company away and pisses every single client that the company has?

Anyway, lets just say that I’ve learned quite a fair bit about managing people in my current workplace. God knows that I can’t tolerate people who doesn’t measure up. (Esp those whom I interviewed and convinced management to hire) Employment to me is like a partnership between 2 person. The employer should feel satisfied with the amount of money invested and the employee must prove his/her worth from the $ he/she is getting.

To cut things short, I’ve learned that one can use the soft approach and yet be firm on the decision that HAS to be made. After all, letting go/being let go is not necessary a bad thing. It’s about finding the perfect FIT to create the a win-win.

I’ve done that and I am happy. Now I can go to bed with one less worry on my mind.

mind power

Just the other day, boss was telling me how disappointed he was coz no matter how hard he try, he can’t seem to make his staffs see the positive side of things. I told him that he shouldn’t stress so much about it. It’s not that he is not good at the role he plays, it’s simply because people are not ready for something that is beyond the comprehension of their comfort zone! I told him that if the student is not ready, it doesn’t matter how good a teacher is.

We all seems to want to convince each other on our belief system. What we should do with our savings, where we should go for vacation, which university to go to, which career path to choose, which book to read, what to eat, who’s blog to read etc etc! And when someone decides to stand up to his/her own belief, we get upset! Ridiculous isn’t it? When are we going to learn that we all have our own life experiences to master?

I agree that so and so has this very negative perspective about life that he/she doesn’t even realise it. And to talk about mind power is probably as good as talking to a cow. If mind power is such an alien subject to some, how can we possibly believe that THEY will believe it can be used as a tool to serve them in their every day life?

So what do we do? We just let them be lah…

For those who believe in mind power and live their everyday life visualizing and seeing the end results of what they want in their life, I am sure you will agree with me that the universe is indeed like the genie in the bottle. Ask, believe in it and you shall receive. It’s just that simple.

When I was in my teens, I told my self and I believed that by age 30, I will get paid this amount of money. 2 months after my 30th birthday, I handed in my resignation letter without securing a job. And before I went for my backpacking trip in march, I was offered a job with additional RM100 to what I asked for when I was a teen. The only regret I had was that I didn’t ask for more then!

Several times while waiting for the cab at the taxi stand, I used visualization to bypass the makcik and the indons who was waiting in line before me hehehe…

In my past relationships, I believe that I would jinx it if I tell my cousin or certain people about the guy. Sure enough, my past relationships never succeeded the 4th month. This is not exactly a good example but what I am trying to say here is that we get what we wished for in our minds. Conscious or subconsciously. And many times, we don’t even realise it!

Let me end this by saying…for those who is receptive enough to believe that you are the ‘maker’ of your own life, get an audio for The Secrets.

Hopefully you are ready to know the TRUTH.

secrets at work

Remember I once blog about The Secret? Well…Looks like I do need some reminder after all…

About a week ago, mr.boss gave me(& another 2 colleague) a copy of the audio. He wanted us to listen to it and said something about picking a topic to talk about during our month end department meeting.

So…ok. Since The Secret is found its way to me it’s probably the universe at work again. Instead of rejecting it, I welcomed it with and open heart. Uploaded it to my mp3 player and listen to chapter after chapter every night before I go to bed.

The Secret does bring back a lot of reminder. Chapter after chapter, I find myself saying “hey I know that already!”. When and which book I might not be able to pin point. Some of it might even came to me through conversation with friends or even painful experiences that I’ve been through over the years… But one particular chapter that hit me hard in the face is the one about relationship. Finding the perfect man/woman of your dream. It kinda ‘forced’ me to reaccess my relationship with fab and what I wanted from the fling that had turned into something else that I could not make out of.

Where relationship is concerned, I darn well know that I have a pattern. A pattern that attracts the wrong kinda men. The kinda men who is rich and successful yet afraid of commitment, the kinda men who just wanna sleep around, the kinda men who want me to build them a website FOC (I hate this the most), the kinda men who wants me to be the kinda woman they want to date.

Well fab, he was almost perfect! He was the direct opposite of all those men. He is the free and easy type, not rich nor successful, he accept me for who I am, he a great supporter and he cooks! Only problem is, he’s chicken shit when it comes to commitment.

I used to think that’s ok you know…that I could just settle for the long distance relationship and a few holiday together here and there. But how long am I gonna lie and keep on pretending that life is great? At the same time hope that he will come out from his insecurities about commitment?

I just…don’t want to do this anymore – to be second best. If it’s the damn list that i should be working on, a damn list is what I am gonna do.