fab

It’s been a while since I last blog about fab. He is still pretty much a part of my everyday life. We still talk on the phone at least twice a week. He has started work in the sugar lab back in Australia and working hard for his South Africa trip in 2008.

He is such a sweet heart, such a kid, such a clown and such a nuisance at times. But he also has a heart of gold and most of the what I am not (hehe).

Just the other day, someone asked me if I ever wanted it to work out between me and fab. Funny how this kinda question got thrown at my face. Is it because he is a backpacker, and white and lives miles away from me? Is it because the idea is too far fetch? *shrug*

I missed him at times. I missed how comfortable life is when he is around. I missed the silly things we did and I missed watching DVDs with him on lazy weekends.

What a man…

birthdays are meant to be celebrated

Mr.boss’s birthday is just around the corner and I’ve hand picked a very silly/funny triangle-ish card and got everyone’s signature on it.

The section heads are taking him out for lunch, the department is getting him a cake and we are getting him a gift voucher from Air Asia! I hope he likes it! :D

*****

I used to hate my birthdays. Simply because I didn’t know how to react to it. But as I grow older, birthday has somewhat become a significant milestone for me to measure my accomplishment in life. It has somewhat become ’sacred’…. It is the day when I layout my master plan and plan for next steps. It is also a day when I celebrate life with my inner self and give thanks to the gazillion beings in me that worked so hard to put me through another year. (it’s a spiritual thing lah)

Birthday also gives me the reason to pig out on chocolate cakes and candles blowing! I love that and I am not afraid to admit it :D

things I look forward to

You know the only thought that gets me through the week is the thought of the weekend that is drawing closer and closer with each passing day. And when the weekend arrives, it’s just never enough. Before I can bask in the notion of not doing anything at all, I would then get hit by the Sunday evening blues – that always come too soon!

THIS, has got nothing to do with whether I am enjoying what I do at work. Nor am I suggesting that my work is giving me all these ‘funny’ thoughts. I love my job, no doubt about it. It’s just that…I wished I have more personal time to myself, so that I can do my sketching/painting, re-learn design, experience a different culture or even learn another language. Sure, I have the weekend, but what I want to do requires a lot of concentration and it’s time consuming! By the time I am done with whatever I want to do, then I don’t have enough time to day dream or sleep or not doing anything at all.

I wished instead of getting 2 off days a week, we worked everyday and get 1 week off at the end of the month. That will work…for me.

go, going, soon be gone

Can’t help laughing after I got off the phone with dad today. Mom and dad is not bailing out after all. But they want to stay in at least a 3 star hotel, near the lake and one that serves breakfast. Boooooooring! :p

But anyway I am glad that they are not bailing out. It’s been a while that we go on a trip together. The last I remember was…when I was in primary school, we used to go to the Kuantan beach and Gunung Ledang a lot… I wonder how is it gonna be like with mom and dad on this trip. Will I be the care taker or the one being taken care of? Can I still be myself, the self-centered ‘traveler’ who wants to do what she pleases?

Maybe not…But it’s alrite :-)

me and my saturday

Yayy! I finally got my new smashing laptop connected to the wireless network at home. Thanks to ayul ;)

Oh Boy…I sense I’ve evoked the workaholic in me! Yikes…

Woke up pretty early today no thanks to period cramps. For a moment, can’t recall whether it was Friday or Saturday…

Suddenly remembered that I haven’t reply cousin lisa’s sms. Declined her invitation to catch a movie but went ahead to made an online ticket reservation anyway. I know I know my bad…but I really feel like being alone today. Don’t feel like talking to anyone, don’t feel like smiling, don’t feel like being nice to anyone…you know, all that standards…I am just not in the mood to socialize today.

‘The Invisible’ was nice, watchable. Then went to Starbucks to work a bit. Ran into one of the staffs whom I used to chat a lot with during my Starbucks-days on weekend. I didn’t think she remembered me but she did and gave me a 10% discount. Aw…so sweet :) Made my day.

:-)

yadda yadda

I really can’t stand people who talks like there is no tomorrow. What’s good when it’s just a monologue? Might as well talk to a plant right?

I was on the phone with ‘him’ for about 30 mins. Listening to ‘noises’ that doesn’t make sense and things that doesn’t matter to me anymore. All the time, I wanted so bad to cut him off and had my undivided attention glued on Ghost Whisperer but I couldn’t because he just talks and talks and talks!

I just can’t stand people like that. People who dump their frustration, annoyance, their sadness on you and walks away light hearted. By the time you realise what just happened, hours passed and you’ve wasted your time listening to things that doesn’t matter to you. Now isn’t that frustrating? Especially when it’s about people you don’t care about and those you don’t connect with.

Another puzzling thought is that why would I care how I’ve been rated as a friend. I really don’t care if I am not likable or if I don’t live up to certain standards. I can’t and won’t please everyone and I am completely aware that if we can dislike others (without any reason), they can do the same to us as well. So, what’s the big deal anyway. Gosh it’s so suicidal if we have to live for others and be someone else just because we want to be loved.

Sad.

We live in a world full of delusion. We believe what we want to believe so that we can convince ourselves that we are doing the right thing and living life right. But, is that important? Is justification so important?

I don’t know…to me it’s not.

Sometimes I am so indifferent I scare the shit outta me…

terrific thai

Woo hoo! My leave has been approved by mr.boss! :D Shiok Shiok Shiok! Can’t wait to hit the road again!

No news from mom and dad if they are coming, or not. Nevertheless, I am just gonna go ahead and plan the trip. On top of my mind, I am thinking Bangkok-Kanchanaburi-Ayuthaya-Chiang Mai-Bangkok with my parents. Then I have another 4 days on my own if I want to…that I am thinking…Ko Samet! :D

Can’t wait.

don’t follow

My new smashing HP laptop arrived today after a long 3 month’s wait! Totally dig it. Woo hoo! Now I have to think twice about leaving (opps! kidding hehe)

My eyes nearly popped out when a friend of mine told me that he was gonna follow me to vietnam when I told him about my plan in Sept! Haha…please no no no!! I can only imagine the worst… I’d be so fucking grumpy I’d be sooooo suicidal!

Travelling with friends can be fun if companionship is what’s being sort after. But for me, it just doesn’t work because I just don’t feel…free. I wouldn’t be able to behave the way I wanted, without having to think about the other person first. How they would react if I do this, do that. I wanna be able to wake up whenever I want, I want to be able to hit the road as when I want it, I want to be able to go with the flow.

I am so destined to be a loner. The one that is willing.

different type of managers

Being at this position in the company means I have to deal with People Management. Not easy because we Asians are not being brought up to be confrontational. Very often, rubbish are being swept under the carpet instead of being taken out. Trust me, People Management is not as easy as it seems. It’s not just about having a good pair of listening ears. It’s not just about being the ‘good cop’. It’s not about scolding and giving warning letters and it’s certainly not about being buddy buddy with your colleagues and ‘hope’ that they will deliver what’s being assigned to them.

Through my 6 years of working experience, I’ve worked with a lot of managers with diverse people and management skills. The ones worth mentioning are the ones that has gotten their hands dirty at all the technical know-hows, the ones that firm with their decisions, the ones that works extra hard, the ones that listens and take actions, the ones that delegates, the ones that are not selfish when it comes to knowledge sharing and the one that demands respect and gets the repect in return.

So if People Management is an art, does that qualify me as an artist?

What am I mumbling about…obviously time to hit the sack. ZZZZZzzzzzz

the bail out

I can’t believe that my parents is gonna bail out on our Thailand getaway in Sept! No thanks to the daily dose of disturbance in Bangkok (on the telly!). Now wait till I tell dad that the air fare is not refundable haha…

Anyway, I am not gonna missed out on another backpacking trip. If mom and dad decide not to go, I’ll make sure I do all the hardcore independent travel shit, border crossing into Cambodia and Vietnam woo hoo! Shiok!

The thing about the law of attraction, that ‘like attracts like’ is undeniable. But very often, people like mom and dad refuses to see the truth and accept the fact that we have the power to change the world. The world feels ‘massive’ I know, but we ARE a part of the world. And all it needs is us to take the first step and start believing that all is good and WILL BE good.

I avoid negative people like a plague. Simply because I do not want to be a part of that negativity. I don’t wanna be with people who will say things like “I knew we were gonna missed our flight”, “I knew we won’t get any rooms with last min booking”, “I knew the local is gonna take advantage of us because we are tourist”, “I knew the bus is gonna be late” yadda yadda…

See I am the kinda person who likes to show up without prior appointments and believe that I will still get what I want(99% of the time). I am the kinda person who refuses the take the umbrella and believe I can hail a cab on a raining day the minute I step out of the office building (which i usually do!). I am the kinda person who believe I am blessed with good luck at eleventh hour. But somehow…I’ve ‘allowed’ the the other negative person to overshadow me! So that means, if I am with a person with negative thoughts, nothing will be smooth sailing. Which is quite fucked…and that’s something that I have to work on. Prolly to reserve the negativity back to the person while I bask in my good fortune!

So anyway, if mom and dad where to worry about the safety conditions in Thailand, I rather them not go and just stay put at home glued to their telly.